Sparks of Silver, by Sarah Kneeland



Sparks of silver in her hair
Cast glints of sunlight everywhere.
Her gaze laid bare my soul to fall
Into its depths; I went, in thrall.
Tumbling forever in a moment’s time,
With mingled fear and sweet sublime.
She held me there, so safe and sure,
In liquid beauty, strong and pure.
I sipped and savored every drop,
Fearful that it soon may stop.
The wisdom of so many years,
The waterfall of many tears
Did fill me with such sweet surprise.
How did I fall into her eyes?
How could this feel so right, like home,
Like I never had to be alone?
In her memories I dwelt,
Touching all the things she’d felt.
I’d never known these things were here,
So far away and yet so near.
Why had I never looked so deep
Into those eyes that made me weep?
I lingered long there, loathe to leave,
Eager not again to grieve.
But when at last I did ascend,
I found my soul had made amend.
I gazed again into her eyes,
But found the old familiar guise.
There were no depths, there was no thrall.
Again there was no one at all.
I wept with joy at having glimpsed
That not seen before, or since.
I wept with aching, longing pain
To see her empty face again.
I cannot know what led me deep
Into her eyes, but I will keep
The shadow of those moments near,
For cracks in time when I feel fear.
The sparks of silver in her hair,
The glints of sunlight everywhere.

— by Sarah Kneeland, former FTD caregiver

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels